Stupid Easy: Avocado Deviled Eggs

Aren't they pretty?  Green Eggs.

By a bit of good fortune, I have a slight problem on my hands.  I get a CSA delivery that includes a dozen eggs every week.  While my cholesterol levels are still adjusting and I'm trying to eat more oatmeal to counteract that, for the most part this is a very good thing.  Eggs are nature's perfect food!  That, and milk.  Don't think too much about it and don't talk to a vegan about it, either.  Nutrient-wise, it's a good thing.

But then (dun dun DUN), my friend's garden chickens started laying eggs like crazy.  She has more eggs than she knows what to do with.  Like five dozen a week or something (not sure).  So, I got 18 eggs in addition to the eggs from my CSA.  Of course the home ones were better, but all the eggs were yummy.  But, I can't eat like five eggs a day!  Damn genes.

Last week, with all these eggs at critical mass, my MIL invited us to a block party in their neighborhood.  It's one of those cute streets that is old-timey even in our rude and modern city.  They have little potlucks and people say hi to each other when they see them, and the houses are 80-100 years old.  It's just cute overload.

Anyway, what could I bring?  EGGS.  Yes.  Eggs.  Duh.  Do not pass go, do not collect anything, just make eggs.  Whew!  A dozen less eggs in my house.  Whew.

Deviled eggs are always a hit.  I make a pretty good batch.  I always have.  Twenty-five years strong of making a good deviled egg.  People will always say, "You should try my deviled eggs, they're the best, trust me."  I will just smile and nod.  Yes, yes, you keep believing that.  But for 75% of my life, I have been making an epic deviled egg.

It was so good that when we had to do a "how-to" demonstration in fourth grade, I of course did deviled eggs.  Duh!  Twenty-five years, I tell you!

Okay, now that I have my credentials....

I was going to make my typical "not even a recipe" deviled eggs.  But, since my husband doesn't like mayo and I don't see the need to keep it around much (and when I do, I use it once and then the remainder sits sadly in my fridge for six months until I throw it out), I had to figure something else out since I was too lazy/cheap to run to the store for mayo. 

I had an avocado (also from CSA) that had to be used before I got my next delivery.  Healthy fats!  Yayyyyyyyy.  The avocado was nice and ripe and as you can tell by the picture, a gorgeous shade of bright green.

It's not even a recipe.  Here's what I did:

1.  Hard-boil a dozen eggs using your favorite method.  Everyone has theirs.  Google for some methods--there are as many methods as there are people, it seems.  My current favorite is to get the eggs out of the fridge about half an hour before boiling them.  Bring some water to a boil and drop the eggs gently into the already-boiling water.  Ten minutes seems to be about right.  Remove them into cold water and then chill.

2.  Take the chilled eggs and peel them under running water (catch the water if you're going through a drought; the plants will love it).  Gently dry off the peeled eggs on some paper towels.

3.  Slice eggs in half "hot-dog"-wise, and pop or scoop out the yolks into a medium bowl.  Set the egg whites on a platter or other pretty dish.  Here I used a pie plate because it works well and I had to transport it.  You can put cling wrap over the plate and it won't smoosh the egg yolks.

4.  Take the bowl of yolks and put it in a small sandwich-sized Ziploc bag.  Add some salt to taste, you don't need to add pepper but you can, and add some dried herbs to taste (as long as you get a little granulated garlic/onion, you're good).  Put a teaspoon or two (not exact) of mustard of your choice.  I usually put Dijon but in this instance I was feeling sassy and I put some classic yellow with turmeric.  I also scooped in my WHOLE avocado.

5.  The fun part:  Close the bag.  Squeeze out air.  Mush the bag with your fingers and go "doop doop doop doop" as you do this.  Trust me.  Scientific stuff happening here.

6.  Once this is all combined, cut a small hole in a corner of the bag.  About a quarter of an inch will do.

7.  Gently work the mixture down to the hole and begin gently piping into the reserved egg whites.

8.  Add paprika on top of the finished eggs because you're fancy and it looks pretty.

9.  Serve and profit.  These were a hit.  They were gone in a few minutes.  There were no leftovers.  Good cooks, including a PROFESSIONAL BAKER OMG who makes locally-famous pies and happens to live on this street, said they were "to die for."  I don't mean to brag, but I just did.  *drops mic*

10.  Wait, you're still wondering how they'll taste?  Just make them!  It's like deviled eggs and guacamole had a love child.  Everyone knows mutts are best anyway.