What Are You Doing on Valentine's Day?

NO...  Just...  NO.

So...  What's everyone's plan for Valentine's?  No plans?  That's cool, too.  But you can have a "Galentine's" if you aren't attached, or you can just enjoy a damn fine piece of grilled red meat with some alcohol.  Just make it a fun day and no pressure.  I was single for many years before meeting my husband.  The only tip that I would give, single or not, is to AVOID RESTAURANTS AT ALL COSTS.  I don't even care if you can't cook.  Have cereal at home.  But to me, there is nothing more forced, and less romantic, than eating at a "romantic" restaurant on Valentine's Day.  And heck, even if you can't cook, why not try one of my stupid easy recipes?

I'm more into some clever, witty repartee on V-day.  Not schmaltz, unless it's done with a wink.  But that's just my style.  If you like the Notebook, you might want to look elsewhere for advice on what to do with yourself on V-day.  So, let's get started.

To me, the day is all about either funny admiration for buddies, or your significant other, or sex.  Let's be honest, the heart that we all know and love was modeled after a you-know-what, back in Greek times, I believe.  To me, a good Valentine's Day has some rich, indulgent food, and maybe a quirky fun movie to cuddle up on the couch with.  This is not the day for health food.  Oh, and chocolate and alcohol should be in there somewhere, too.  What you do after the movie is your business.  If you're into teddy bears with handcuffs, far be it for me to tell you EW GROSS.  But I just said it anyway.

So, without further ado...

Let's start by selecting some movies.  Why not a classic screwball comedy from the 30's or 40's?  Even if your sweetie doesn't like black and white movies, or old movies, or how people talked back then, believe me--they will enjoy these fun and funny films.  Here is a good list of the ones you can't miss.

Okay, moving on...  How about some chocolates to nibble on?  Classic truffles are always great, or you can go the vegan route with these.  It's all good.  At any rate, you'll wonder why you were paying $2 a pop for the fancy ones before.

Now, how about some snacky-snacks while your steak is cooking (you did get a steak...  didn't you?).  Maybe some surf-n-turf is in order?  Like, crab cakes?  Or maybe some nice slurpy mussels to sluuuuuurp on...  Like these or these?  Maybe some cheese and grapes or something, too.  And, sipping in a cocktail wouldn't hurt.  Maybe some Scotchy-Scotch or a French 75?

Then, about that steak.  Now, if you are not a steak eater, you can do a luscious roast chicken using Thomas Keller's classic easy method.  Just stick the super dry and salted bird in the oven for an hour (plenty of time to make out!) and when it emerges, it will be sticky, crispy, and juicy.  Yum.  If you are a vegetarian, I would say go for Indian or Thai takeout.  The spice is sexy, right?  And it's all about being sexy.

Now is not the time for Brussels sprouts or cauliflower.  :-/  Or beans, really...

Okay, back to that steak!

Here is a good recipe that pairs a nice bloody steak with a simple chocolate mousse dessert.  Red meat and dark chocolate, yum!  Otherwise, I don't really think you need a recipe for steak.  Just make sure you have a good cut of meat, let it hang out outside the fridge for a few minutes while you prep the grill or cast iron, and then sear that sucker on both sides.  Then rest.  Then enjoy.  YUM.  Oh, and pair it with your favorite full-bodied red wine, of course.

Need a side?  How about potatoes?  They're earthy, and sexy, right?  I mean, yeah?  Here are some good potato ideas.  Pasta can be slurpy too, and romantic in a Lady-and-the-Tramp sort of way, but if you're doing steak, I would go with potatoes.  Any of these will work fine.

If you need even more chocolate, maybe try this almost-flourless chocolate cake, with some yummy vanilla ice cream on the side.

And if all goes well for your Valentine's Day, how about some ideas for a bacon-centric morning after?

And if all else fails, buy a card with a train on it that says "I CHOO-CHOO-CHOOOOOOSE YOU."  Works every time!