This is Not Even a Recipe: My World Famous Meatballs

Sorry for the messy sides.  That's life!

I first ran across this "recipe" somewhere on Pinterest.  It was fast-approaching time for me to think about what I was going to feed upwards of 30 people for a July 4th party at our house.  I needed something that wouldn't require the oven--it was going to be 100*F that day.  I needed something that didn't require my attention.  I needed something that didn't require much effort.  To be honest, how tasty this would be was not one of the top criteria.

But I sure did luck out!  I made this recipe, and not only was it one of the best things I've made, but it got people who didn't even know me (or know that I was one of the party hosts) (living with roommates ftw) to stop me and exclaim "OMG DID YOU MAKE THESE THEY ARE SO GOOD."

This made me incredibly happy, but also a little pissed off.  I have made stupid recipes from other food blogs that made me shake my fist in frustration and ask an empty kitchen, "did you even try this before publishing your post??"  I've spent several hours in the kitchen, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning, slaving away, only to be told politely after much prodding, "uh, yeah, they're okay..."  My husband, who always strives for honesty, will be the one to say, "it took you THAT LONG to make?  What a waste of time."  (See: mini calzones from a blog that shall remain nameless and also boycotted)

Which is why I love these meatballs.  The effort to reward ratio is spot-on.

Get a few pounds of frozen meatballs.  I used Trader Joe's Party Size Mini Meatballs, which are 20 oz per bag, and I used two bags.  They are fully cooked, frozen, and ready to go.  Also, they're tasty.  You can stick them in a quick and easy soup, too.  But I digress.  The small form factor means an optimal sauce-to-ball ratio.

Get a 12 oz bottle of Heinz chili sauce.  It doesn't have to be Heinz, but this works best for me.  I have also tried "Homade" brand, which worked fine and is probably more natural.  But, are we really that concerned with natural foods when we are making this?

Get about a 12 oz jar of grape jelly.  You basically want it to be equal parts jelly to chili sauce.  So, if you can only find a Costco-sized tub, just eyeball it when you "assemble" this dish.  I tend to try and find an organic version that has no HFCS (high fructose corn syrup).  It's all up to you, though.

Get out your Crock Pot.  What?  You don't have one?  You can get one for super cheap basically anywhere, even the grocery store.  You will thank yourself soon enough.

Put the three ingredients in the pot.  Turn to "high" and stir gently to distribute the sauce, especially the grape jelly.  Usually I don't really keep track until someone asks "um, should we turn this to low?"  But I would say put it on high for at least an hour, since you have frozen balls (don't you hate when that happens) that you want to warm through.  Then keep on "low" for the next few hours as the party progresses.  Near the end, I might reduce to "keep warm" or I might just turn off at that point--heck, all the meatballs are probably done by then!